My Heart is Tied to It Fiercely

I only wanted one thing. Right? But, do I want to give, or do I want to get? Either way, I just know that my heart is tied to it fiercely. I know there are selfish reasons embedded within my desires – I want to be the one who you talk to, I want to be the one who you come to for rest.

But it doesn’t work that way, I know. It is hard for me to stay here and stand still while you hurt or are going through a hard time. It might not make sense that someone would even be worried about you; maybe it’s really not that bad. But it is you – and I care so deeply I cannot help it. And there’s nothing I can do. There’s nothing you want me to do. There’s nothing you want me for.

But I can pray. I can pray as fiercely as my heart is tied to what I am praying for – and my heart is tied to it fiercely.

If you prick a finger, I’ll feel like I’ve lost a limb

If you happened to need a bandage, I’d need one just as big

If you ever cry, I’d feel as I’ve been torn apart

And I can’t imagine how I’d feel, if someone broke your heart

-Zach

There’s Something About Writing

There’s something about writing that is attractive. Who knows when the hobby of journaling started up, but I’m assuming it was a long long time ago. And it’s beneficial! There’s something special about someone’s journal or diary, especially when it’s shared with others. There’s a personal and private aspect to writing.

But there’s a public aspect to it, too. There might be some good in writing for yourself, as some diaries and journals might be for, but it’s obvious that writing is, in the long run, because of something bigger than that. Journaling for private reasons can help us think through situations more clearly among other great things, but what if it could help others in the same way?

Enter blogging :)

-Zach

Things I learned from Xanga

Back in high school, I didn’t have Facebook. Nobody did. We had Xanga. In many ways, it was so much better than Facebook for us – not that Facebook is particularly beneficial to us. But Xanga was just blogging back then. It was free, it was easy, and it connected us with each other’s thoughts. Most of all, I believe it helped us develop and understand who we were.

I read through some of my old Xanga posts; I read my old thoughts on a life I have forgotten and my accounts of memories I once lived. Back then, it seemed like these blogs were a popular thing to have. We would write about our lives, our little thoughts on things, and comment on other peoples’ posts. But why was it so attractive to us? I said I believe that it helped us develop and understand who we were, but how does it do that?

Back then, blogging was attractive. As a high schooler, I wanted to express myself and I wanted to be heard, I wanted to fit in and I wanted to have attention. I don’t care how wrong I was or how spiritually young I was back then; whatever the magnitude of those things, I was a different person from who I am now. I grew. I have grown. And to some extent, I think we understood somehow that blogging could result in growth. It was, of course, thought and reflection of ourselves in a way that was shared back and forth with friends, and in my case, friends from church. And it brought community because of this; it was simply an attractive thing.

Blogging helped us develop and understand who we were. And we didn’t even know it. It may have been understood that exploring our thoughts and sharing those with others really brings this about, but it wasn’t why we did it. Mostly we had selfish reasons for blogging back then. I just read through one of my favorite posts I had written on my Xanga blog. It was written the summer before I moved to college; it was full of honesty and reflection. And now, I can picture in my mind the exact moment that inspired me to write it. It’s important to me. It makes me wonder about the way life changes. Our friendships with certain people seem to come and go. As I moved on from that summer and into college, I changed a lot. Things hurt in my life as I figured out who I was. I realized I didn’t have deep friendships with the people I was close to. And, because of that, some friendships got better and deeper, others simply were forgotten, and still some are the same. The thing is the ones that are the same feel different now, because I’m different. I can really see how much I’ve changed now that I’m looking back on my old thoughts. Everything is different now.

It makes me wonder if this chapter in my life will become like one of the previous – forgotten, even regretted. But, that’s not the only way to look at it. Even if a chapter of my life is forgotten, it’s only because the one being written now is so much better. It’s regretted so much less. I’m living so much more. And I believe the more you live in a way you won’t regret, the more you live in a way you won’t forget, the more you’re really alive.

-Zach

Era Everafter

Is the name of my band! http://www.purevolume.com/eraeverafter We’ve got songs!

1 Peter – The Will of God

Put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander.
-1 Peter 2:1

For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God.
-1 Peter 2:15-16

Today, Peter’s thoughts on how we should live caught my attention as I read the first two chapters of 1 Peter. One big thing in these verses is that Peter writes, “this is the will of God,” and whenever these words come up in Scripture, the verses feel like absolute gold to me. This is the will of God. So many people always ask and wonder what the will of God is. Search for the phrase sometime – I know of a few verses that give us direct and specific glimpses into God’s will.

But I absolutely love these verses. Put away all of your hypocrisy and live as servants of God, for that is your freedom! Oh, how upside down it will seem to unbelievers – not because they are any less smart or of less intellect than Christians, but because they cannot understand the ways of God without His Spirit. Even with the Holy Spirit working in our lives, it’s hard to see the fullness of God’s love and grace. Living in hypocrisy and using our freedom as a cover-up for evil shouldn’t make sense to us. God loved us so much, with all He had, so we could turn to Him and leave our former ways, yet we go back to that time and time again in hypocrisy, hurting the One who loved us more than we could ever fully know.

The good news is that it doesn’t have to be that way. We can fulfill the will of God presented in 1 Peter 2:15-16 in following after Him.

-Zach

Dear Summer Staff,

I write to encourage all of you to strive to be effective for God this summer. Looking back at the time I spent at camp, I know I could have been more effective in my ministry. I wouldn’t go as far as to say I was only 10% effective, but I am sure I could have been at least 90% more effective than I was. There’s an opportunity in everything to serve God – not just at camp, but in all of life – and being at camp may allow you to see deeper into those moments than you ever have before. Be on the look out for the teachable moments, the moments to live as a Godly example, and the moments during TAWG to even just sit in silence and stand in awe of God’s creation around you. You could say that while placing all of your faith in a God who is infinite, you can be infinitely effective by taking every moment to both live for Him and impact the lives around you for Him.

-Zach

Miracles and Unbelief

Matthew 13:53-58 says:

53 And when Jesus had finished these parables, he went away from there, 54 and coming to his hometown he taught them in their synagogue, so that they were astonished, and said, “Where did this man get this wisdom and these mighty works? 55 Is not this the carpenter’s son? Is not his mother called Mary? And are not his brothers James and Joseph and Simon and Judas? 56 And are not all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all these things?” 57 And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and in his own household.” 58 And he did not do many mighty works there, because of their unbelief.

While reading this, verse 58 especially stuck out. It says that Jesus “did not do many mighty works there, because of their unbelief.”

Because the people did not believe Him, Jesus did not work miracles or other works. People always want to see miracles and things before they believe, but God knows that faith doesn’t work that way. I don’t know much about this, but Jesus was not the only one who would do miracles, right? In Matthew 9, two men who were blind believed that Jesus could heal them. Matthew 9:29 says, “Then [Jesus] touched their eyes, saying, ‘According to your faith be it done to you.’” The miracle of healing the men depended on the level of their faith – Jesus didn’t heal them in order that they would believe.

How many times have you prayed that God would show Himself in some way to you, in order that you might believe? In reality, it is not when God reveals Himself will we believe, but when we believe that God will reveal Himself.

-Zach

Here’s a Quote

“If you can take in the base immorality of Wedding Crashers right on through to the final credits without turning it off, you are sexually perverted.”

Thoughts on Hero, Part 1

Here’s a quick thought from the book Hero by Fred Stoeker:

While discussing some things, the author explains that he once asked himself, “Are there any women left out there who care enough about their purity that they could live with God’s standards?”

Ladies, live to make the answer to this question an obvious yes. Make the boys live like real men in order to deserve you. If a guy doesn’t feel like he has to act like a man living up to God’s standards, he won’t. And, for a guy who wants to live like that, there’s nothing more discouraging than feeling like it won’t be worth it.

As I read through this book, I wonder as well how the women around me regard their purity. And, as my friend points out in a paper he is writing and discussed with me tonight, it is common to see women frame their bodies in ways that are, well, wrong. I’m not sure what else to say other than this is of course not what we want in women, and instead we want women to cherish their purity. Sure, I’d like to say a few more things – but that’s where it gets personal, so you’ll just have to get this conversation rolling in person!

-Zach

Amazing

Click. Play. I close my eyes and immediately I feel years younger, at home, falling asleep in my bed. “You take me high above the world I see, way beyond the clouds. Beautiful colors surround me.” The song would play regularly on the radio late at night as they announced that it was by DJ Andy Hunter. The name always stuck with me, so now I have looked up the song and as it plays every now and then, I take a breath and remember how life was back then. The song always reminds me of falling asleep, because back in high school I would listen to the radio to fall asleep, and it was always one of my favorite songs to hear at that time. The vocals by featured artist Christine Glass (I just looked up who it was) are soft and airy – perfect for preparing someone to dream.

“Fly with me
Across the heavens
Feel the breeze
Above the skies“

This song is just one of many that can send me staring up at the ceiling, dreaming of space, reflecting on life, conscious of breathing. What songs do that for you?

-Zach